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Light bulb
Sun Sign humour:

How many members
of your zodiac sign


does it take to change a light bulb?


Aries ARIES:
Just one. You want to make something of it?

None, mister.  Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs. (*smash*)



TAURUS:
One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a ten course meal and some great sex.

None: Taureans don't like to change anything.
Taurus



Gemini GEMINI:
Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."

Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.



CANCER:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

Just one, but only after whining and complaining for two weeks about having to change it.

None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.
Cancer



Leo LEO:
Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.

One: He holds the bulb while the world spins around him.

None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.

None: Leos don't worry about such details.



VIRGO:
Approximately 1.000000 with an analyzed error factor of +/- a hundred millionth of a micron.

Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, one to clean up the mess the burnt out bulb created, and ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb . . .
Virgo



Libra LIBRA:
Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?

Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new light bulb, but maybe we need to think about this a little more before we rush into a decision . . .



SCORPIO:
That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

None. They like doing unspeakable things in the dark.

So who wants to know?  Why do *you* want to know?  Are you a cop?
Scorpio



Sagittarius SAGITTARIUS:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about some stupid burned-out light bulb?

Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?

A whole bunch: They don't stick around very long, so you're lucky if you can keep them in the room long enough for each them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece, assuming they even show up.



CAPRICORN:
None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs -- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

None: Why bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

None: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Capricorn



Aquarius AQUARIUS:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so . . .

Hard to say. Depends on how many piercings and tatoos it will take.

Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, y'know, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.



PISCES:
Light bulb? What light bulb?

Huh? The light's out?

Who needs a light bulb on a candle-lit cloud?
Pisces











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