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Haven't been able to listen to the poadcst yet, but everyone's posts are so powerful! I had a violent dream myself two nights ago of a man abusing a woman and then headbutting her into unconsciousness after she accused him of rape saying something like Why are you beating me when you've already raped me? with much defiance. It's interesting that what particularly struck me about that dream was the face of pain the man presented in the dream after knocking her out. I know my perpetrator's faces were blank in the process of their abuse. Their pain was masked. But I also know that it was a perpetrator in a therapy session who in courageously facing his own issues of perpetration enabled me to face my own. Very few people are wholly victim. We've all acted out in a hurtful manner. But before this man helped me face my perpetration issues I was absolutely locked into a victim mentality. Everything had been done to me. I was unable to see or feel how my behavior had impacted others. After witnessing his work I was able to own my history as perpetrator and truly grieve and repent it. Now I know I cycle between the triangle Victim-Perpetrator-Rescuer like everyone else but the result of years of therapy is that I'm free, whenever I decide to, to step out of the triangle or not step in to begin with. The following is paraphrased from memory: A medieval mystic woman from England was once asked by a pilgrim why God did not punish those who were abusive. Her reply was that when God looks at us, victim or perpetrator, God only sees Pain. Only Pain. And God will not punish Pain with Pain.
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Posted By: Dennis on: 02/16/2013 02:40:48 ET
